The night I caught my husband texting another woman and trying to hide his cell phone from me was a life changer. I knew I would never be the same and perhaps nor would he. In my anger to rip the phone from him, it flew across the room and the battery came out. I picked up the pieces and stormed downstairs and tried to sleep on the futon in our sunroom. I tossed and turned but must have eventually dozed a bit. I awoke in the middle of the night to a letter he had been writing after I had charged into the sunroom.
“I must have dozed a bit, because when I awoke at 1 a.m., there was a two-page letter on my stomach, handwritten by Jim. The handwriting was atrocious, so it took me a while to read all about how he hoped I didn’t put the phone back together and throw away 25 years of marriage over his very selfish act. ‘I know it was selfish and I tried to stop’ it read. ‘It was all about feeling young again and it was addicting. I couldn’t turn it off. I know it was wrong and selfish and she tried to stop too but we couldn’t. Maybe you and I are better off apart. I don’t know. You are always the one who puts more into the relationship than I do, and we both have been so lonely.’
It went on and on, and the more I read, the more confused I became. Lonely? After I had been begging for date nights and more quality time? Lonely? After the sloppy kiss and the goofy smile at our anniversary party just months before? Feeling young? Aren’t we both still doing it like people in their 20s?”
Yep, that was a confusing time in my life to be sure. How could we have miscommunicated our true needs for so long that he felt the need to stray?
Infidelity is a confusing time. We are baffled by the emotions, the temptation, and the guilt. Next comes the anxiety, fear, and never-ending question “Will our marriage make it?”
If you are reeling in the pain and confusion, you are not alone. You will be reluctant to share this with anyone if you are feeling shame. If you are feeling anger you may want to shout it to the world and rally your friends behind you and start plotting your revenge. If you are in shock you may stumble through your day as if in someone else’s body.
Most likely you will be feeling all of these things at once and it can be draining. Your best bet is to contact me for your free call. If I feel that your situation is more complex than I can handle I work with coaches who specialize in things like pornography addiction, sex addiction, and domestic abuse.
There is never a reason that you should feel broken. My goal is to help you become Stronger Than Broken.
After reading this, tune out all distractions. Close your eyes. Think back to a time when you and your significant other were happy, truly happy. Now imagine the two of you walking on a beautiful path talking like best friends.
What would you say to each other? How would you make your needs known? Would you listen to their concerns or already start planning the rebuttal in your head? Remember, on this path that you are walking on, you are discussing with your best friend. They know you. You know them. It’s ok to disagree and have your own yearnings because best friends always have each others back.
Now on this path you are walking, is there a sign that leads to a place called forgiveness? Will you follow it? Have you downloaded the free forgiveness videos from this site?
I want to walk behind you and your spouse on this path and lead you to a place where forgiveness, trust, and honestly leads to the playground of joy, happiness and a relationship you never even knew existed. I know that at this moment you may not even be able to comprehend such emotions, but as a woman who has been there, I believe in you. If you want to fix your relationship I will be your biggest cheerleader!
“We can still say bone-headed things to each other because we forgot to think before we speak. The difference is, we know in our heart of hearts, that the we are the only ones who truly know the other one…We work hard at settling arguments quickly, being slow to anger, not using words as weapons, not withholding physical affection when angry and so much more. We learned that compromise is not when both people have to give up something or make concessions. It can be a place where one person reads a whole new page in their lovers life, or where one of us gets a whole new outlook on something we never though we would like.”
“Once in a while it can feel like ‘taking on for the team’, but that’s just it. We are a team. We wear the same jersey and play for the ultimate win.”
Are you ready to play for the ultimate win? Contact me.