All of my years of athletics have created the occasional overuse injury. It’s cool. I almost feel like I have “earned” the pain in some sort of weird, masochistic way. Still, I don’t want the pain to last any longer than I want a stale, loveless marriage to last.
So, I go and see a magician of sorts. Many would call him an athletic trainer or a physical therapist, but I just call him a magician. He aligns me and fixes the trauma so that I may go out and beat myself up again. I currently have no injuries, but I set up my every other month’s appointment to keep myself in a sort of maintenance mode. If I am proactive in my care, I will never have another overuse injury again. Right?
Perhaps the same can be done with a marriage. We can maintain and even flourish with the right type of preventative care.
At one time my marriage was not great. OK it was worse than “not great”. It was downright pitiful. Our penchant for arguments over silly stuff, fights over finances, nasty post-it notes left all over the house and petty games of withholding sex from each other made for a less than optimal union of two people.
We read self-help books, saw a therapist for a short time, had conversations with pastors in our church and did some nitty and gritty work in order to rescue a marriage in need of saving. During this time I was careful not to make my husband feel like I was “fixing” him.
Please do not be a hater when I generalize and say that women and men often have different ideas about self-help. Women tend to enjoy it and look at it as a way to improve and learn. Men (especially if their wife suggested it) tend to look at seminars, retreats and conferences as a big ol’ sign that they are broken and need this seminar, retreat or conference to be “fixed.”
To all of my male readers, I can assure you that this is seldom the case. Yes, we wives would love for our men to improve in one area or another but that in no way means that we thought you were “broken.” I assume that men also have some areas where they would like to see a change or improvement in their wives.
Will you step up and attend the Shocking Marriage Conference at the end of the month? See the link below.
My husband is fully aware of how passionate I am about healthy marriages and he knows I go all over the place speaking to people about it yet he was still a bit of a hard sell. But, we did it. We are signed up as a couple and on our way to Indiana at the end of the month to reach our full potential as a couple. I hope you find that babysitter, rearrange your schedule, rent that car, get on that plane or do whatever it takes to go too.
Let’s spread shockingly healthy, fun. sexy and amazing marriages all over the place and leave a legacy you will be proud of.