Emotional Infidelity

Stacey Greene Coaching
Stacey Greene, Author

What do you consider to be emotional infidelity? Some say that the book of Matthew from the Bible (Matthew 5:28) is a bit extreme. I mean, come on, that book was written over 2000 years ago! But let’s think again. Do you think people 2000 years ago had money problems? Did they have relationship issues? Did the men look at women other than their wives? Did the wives look at other men and wonder “What if….”?  I think our current issues are as old as time itself. Today we just have fancier gadgets, different modes of transportation and a more permissive style of clothing.

Our emotions, arguments, tastes, and sexual drives are basically the same now as they ever were. We all have a need to feel validated and worthy as much now as in the past.

So let’s check out the N.I.V. version of the Bible which says  “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery in his heart.”

Most of us look at this as a bit out of touch with reality, but having been cheated on in the very real sense, I cannot help but think that it all began there……with just some emotional infidelity.

It was only a simple look across the bar. A lonely, single mom checking out a lonely, married man. What began as emotional infidelity blossomed into a full-blown affair.

Perhaps it started out with something as innocuous as a simple smile or a kind look. Maybe it progressed to sitting closer, offering to buy the next drink or a guiltless dance to a great song the band was playing. That is how I assumed it started, but I know that it grew from there into texts, clandestine visits, gifts, songs played for each other on college radio, and physical involvement.

Can you see where innocent glances can lead to emotional infidelity? Maybe you think you are stronger than that. I often wonder if my husband thought that he was stronger than that too.

Wives, be careful how long you linger at the post office talking to that nice-looking, male teller. Husbands, why are you stopping off at the bar after work while your wife worked all day and is rushing to get the kids home from baseball practice in time to have a family dinner?

Wives, is it appropriate to go to a business dinner with a male co-worker? Husbands, when you are in a hotel for business are you really just being entertained by the TV choices at your hotel?

Let’s start thinking of our partner first, and seeing if that cheap thrill is really so innocent after all. Remember that we truly did fall in love with our mate at one time. Is it time to fall in love again?

I suggest that you do just that with the person you are wedded to. Step out of your funk and boredom and see your spouse in a new light.

If there are problems, then begin the process of discussing them in love. Tread lightly and guard your words.

I saw a great piece of text on Facebook that read something like “Stop saying that marriage is just a piece of paper. So is money, but you get up every day and work hard for it. So, work hard for your relationship and marriage.”

We go through many changes in marriage, don’t we? One thing never changes, though. We still want to be loved, adored and cherished.

What will you do today to prevent emotional infidelity?

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